Newsgroups: alt.peeves
Subject: White Castle - Gourmet Treat?
Date: 1 Jan 1998 07:40:58 -0600
Organization: The PC Police

	Last Sunday night, an esteemed peever took me into a
White Castle hamburger joint to let me try the food of his

	White Castle hamburgers are a Midwest chain. They are in
Illinois, Indiana, Ohio etc. 

	I now understand why they are not in Wisconsin.

	A White Castle burger is not a burger as McDonald's and
Burger King customers would understand it. It is not even a
hamburger as any greasy diner in rural America would understand

	It is a small piece of meat like substance in-between some
white spongy material that could be an analogue for bread. An
available option is a yellow sticky substance. The addition of
this stuff that looks, feels and smells like low temperature hot
melt glue makes the "hamburger" into a "cheeseburger".

	These things are small, they fit in the palm of your
hand. They cost about forty cents a piece. So, now one buys just
one, they order them in batches and when I was there they had a
special price if you bought a batch of 20.

	I was advised to buy two burgers and two cheeseburgers.
Just to see how they tasted.

	I took them back to my hotel room and while watching TV
chowed down.

	My first though on tasting one was: "I bet these would be
really popular in Glasgow."

	I can best describe the taste of a White Castle burger as
a deep fried dish rag. It doesn't taste of meat as much as it
tastes of rancid animal fat and decay.

	The last time I ate anything like that was in Glasgow.
Home of tasty delights like "Sliced sausage", "Mutton Pies" and
other greasy offal. 

	Until last Sunday night, I thought only the Scots ate
such foul food.

	The next morning, I could still taste that rancid taste
and was burping foul odors until lunch time.

	Now I think I know what they do with all that roadkill on
those prairie roads.