Subject: White Castle - Gourmet Treat?
Date: 1 Jan 1998 07:40:58 -0600
Organization: The PC Police
Last Sunday night, an esteemed peever took me into a White Castle hamburger joint to let me try the food of his childhood. White Castle hamburgers are a Midwest chain. They are in Illinois, Indiana, Ohio etc. I now understand why they are not in Wisconsin. A White Castle burger is not a burger as McDonald's and Burger King customers would understand it. It is not even a hamburger as any greasy diner in rural America would understand it. It is a small piece of meat like substance in-between some white spongy material that could be an analogue for bread. An available option is a yellow sticky substance. The addition of this stuff that looks, feels and smells like low temperature hot melt glue makes the "hamburger" into a "cheeseburger". These things are small, they fit in the palm of your hand. They cost about forty cents a piece. So, now one buys just one, they order them in batches and when I was there they had a special price if you bought a batch of 20. I was advised to buy two burgers and two cheeseburgers. Just to see how they tasted. I took them back to my hotel room and while watching TV chowed down. My first though on tasting one was: "I bet these would be really popular in Glasgow." I can best describe the taste of a White Castle burger as a deep fried dish rag. It doesn't taste of meat as much as it tastes of rancid animal fat and decay. The last time I ate anything like that was in Glasgow. Home of tasty delights like "Sliced sausage", "Mutton Pies" and other greasy offal. Until last Sunday night, I thought only the Scots ate such foul food. The next morning, I could still taste that rancid taste and was burping foul odors until lunch time. Now I think I know what they do with all that roadkill on those prairie roads. --